Sometimes i like to sit and look through some of the photo albums that my mom put together throughout my childhood. For someone as nostalgic as I am this is actually a form of torture, so why I do it I’m not sure.
Like many of you, I had an absolutely wonderful childhood, I have wonderful memories and I was a very happy kid. Now I know that for some that is not the case, but either way, eventually you grow up and, sooner or later, life gets real…
How does a family go from being happy to broken?
How did I go from having a wonderful, loving ‘she can do anything’ mom to writing her eulogy when i was only 30?
How do some people go from being successful to having lost everything and living on the street?
How do we all go from being happy little children, smiling for photographs in front of the Christmas tree, to wherever we find ourselves now, having to overcome whatever obstacles meet us on our path?
If you had asked 23 yr old me ‘where do you see yourself in 10 years?’ I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that the answer would be “living alone, and without a mom”, and if I had known, i’m sure I would have remotely considered the option to ‘off’ myself.
But here I am, and the most bizarre thing of all is that i’m not even miserable. In my twenties I would have thought it was impossible.
I was telling some friends about the awkward conversations that have taken place over the years regarding people who didn’t know my mom had passed, we were having a good chuckle when another friend commented on how unimaginable it is to her, to be able to laugh, or even be ‘ok’ after losing someone so close to you.
That’s the thing about God though … with our God, we can go through things that we think will break us. We can survive the most horrific experiences, go through severe heartache and serious pain. But no matter how battered and bruised we are.., we come out the other side. We get back up again. We wipe the tears from our eyes, dust off our knees and slowly but surely manage to put one foot in front of the other.
Sure, you might be tempted to throw a pity party and sulk about it for the rest of your life … but where’s the fun in that? It’s exhausting to be so angry and depressed all the time! Instead, realise that you wake up every morning because you have wonderful things coming your way. You have divine favour waiting for you. You have life, breath and a million things to be grateful for! All you have is now… live it!
“The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” John 16:33