“I can forgive him, but i’ll never forget what he did.” I’ve heard many people say before.
Well, obviously you won’t forget what they did, no one’s expecting you to be hypnotised (please don’t do that). So what’s up with the whole ‘forgive and forget’ thing?
Ask any mom who’s given natural birth (this is relevant, i promise) and she’ll tell you that the pain of labour is intense. It takes over your whole body, you feel like you have no control over your body and it is most often overwhelming. There are coping mechanisms which are helpful, sure, but nothing is going to take that pain away completely! … But … give the mom a few months, and all of a sudden she says ‘I can’t really remember it, it’s almost like a blur. I remember it hurt, but then i just remember holding this beautiful baby …’
‘Would you do it again?’
Now, obviously this would have been an uncomplicated labour. Unfortunately, the more complications, the longer it takes to heal … but with the right Doctor and/or medication, healing is inevitable.
Sometimes, when people hurt us, it can seem a lot like that … The pain of their betrayal is intense, and often overwhelming. The more complicated the offence, the longer the healing time … But, with God, prayer, and sometimes the help of a trusted pastor or counsellor, healing is inevitable.
I mean, no one ever ‘feels’ like forgiving … we ‘feel’ like they don’t deserve it! However … neither did we, and Jesus isn’t about telling us to forgive and then leaving us to ‘do it alone’.
The bible is full of encouraging scriptures on forgiveness that we can meditate on and pray about, and in doing so, we open ourselves up and allow healing to take place. It’s not pretty and it’s not easy but, when we allow God to do it, sooner or later it’s not the act we forget necessarily, but the pain.